Getting there...

Two weeks of working...

Fourteen days from now I´m sitting on a plane to LA - unbelievable!  I can´t get it into my brain that this year is over - OVER?! As I was imagining this, my first weeks here when I was homesick I constantly thought about how it would be a year from there, how it would be to be coming back. I thought about how proud I would be of myself to know I have managed to "live through" this year and that I would never leave Sweden again once returning. HA! Now going back doesn´t feel that exciting at all. Sweden - what is there I want there?

Of course it´s gonna be crazy fun to return to all my friends and to see my family and grandparents again. I´m gonna run around like kitten chasing the yarn during the TEN days I´m home. That´s right, ten days before I leave again. have to say I feel a bit guilty towards my family for leaving so soon again, but I will (probably) be back in three weeks, but I one way it feels like a relief. Going to Australia gives me a reason to leave the States. If it wouldn´t be for the reason I want nothing else than to see Scott as soon as possible I would have no hurry out of this country. I would still have to go home, staying as an au pair for another year is not anything I consider no matter how amazing this year has been, but I would wanna stay as long as possible to spend time with my friends and do the things I am gonna miss. At least I am going to explore the West coast, can´t stay a year in the States without going to Hollywood, and once I´ve seen California I think I have done a pretty good exploration of the States for a year. What I will probably not feel ready to leave is my life here - the family, I will really miss the kids, the neighborhodd and all the cool people I´ve met here and still wanna get to know better. But just as when I graduated and left for the States I´m telling myself that this is life. Nothing lasts forever and you gotta keep moving on, explore new places, meet new friends and live YOUR life. It´s better to quit when you´re on top, to go home with good memories rather than trying to hold on to something that will still not last forever.

Two weeks really do make me panic. There are so many things I want at the same time. I want the time to pass so that I know that I made it, that my year is over and I have a vacation in California to look forward to. I do want to come back to Sweden because I can´t wait to see my friends hand what has "happened" to them during this year, but most of all I want to go to Australia! Once there I wouldn´t mind if time just slowed down beyond annoying. All this I want at the same time as I want this to last. These two weeks I want to last for a very long time so I can do everything I want before I leave. You can´t affect time. No matter how much you want to you can´t avaoid changes, you just have to go with the flow and make the best out of it. I will enyoj my last two weeks here as much as I possibly can! After that I will have a great time in California, and returning home will be awesome! If time flies now it means it will in Australia as well so therefore I wish for six very slow weeks till then! In any case I feel like I´m up for the most amazing summer of my life!


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